An Open Response to Jimmy's Open Response to "Miss Interpretations"

by Michael on September 11, 2007

I’ve decided to take it upon myself to clarify what some other men may be thinking when they hear some of the phrases coined in Lisa’s article “Miss Interpretations.” I am doing this because Jimmy recently posted a response to the same article, but I felt what he claimed the male was thinking, isn’t at all what I would think and that there may be other men out there who also do not share Jimmy’s thoughts.

She says: I’m fine.
Jimmy thinks: No you’re not, you’re a damn psycho.
I think: Awesome she’s fine. Wait, when she says she’s fine does that mean she’s actually fine? Why do women have to be so confusing?

She says: I have cramps.
Jimmy thinks: There’s some Midol in the bathroom… are you a child?
I think: I am so glad I’m a guy.

He says: What do you want to do?
She says: I don’t care.
Jimmy thinks: Sweet, I’m going out with some buddies.
I think: Sex?

He says: The L.A. Car Show is in town. I got us tickets for Saturday AND Sunday! I figured since I went to see that Jessica Alba movie with you, you’d want to do this with me.
She says: That’s fine. We can do that.
Jimmy thinks: Finally, we can do something I enjoy!
I think: I wonder if she’d be willing to pose nude on one of the cars for me. I doubt it so there’s really no point in going. Maybe she’ll have sex with me instead.

He says: Anything.
She says: Really?
Jimmy thinks: Yes, you bitch, really.
I think: Within reason.

She says: Anything about how she controls the sex in this relationship.
Jimmy thinks: Tell that to the girl I slept with when you had “cramps” last week. And if you don’t straighten up, I’m going to kick you right in those gigantic ovaries of yours!
I think: Why does she always have to bring that up as if I don’t remember?

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