Grandpa vs. Web 2.0 Lingo

Matt Clarkson is busily surfing the web in his dorm when suddenly his cell phone rings.

Matt: Oh, hi Grandpa, I’m glad you called.
Grandpa: Matt, how are you? Finally got this cellular doohickey figured I think. What’s my favorite grandson doing?
Matt: Been Stumbling all night.
Grandpa: Oh! You aren’t hurt are you?
Matt: No Grandpa, Stumbling. Online.
Grandpa: What the hell is that? You’re not looking at porn, I hope. Your Grandmother and I bought you that laptop, remember.
Matt: Porn? No, of course not. Stumbling, it’s like, uh, you look at websites.
Grandpa: I thought they called that “surfing.” It’s called stumbling now?
Matt: No, it’s a website called StumbleUpon.
Grandpa: StumbleUpon dot internet?
Matt: No, Stumbleupon dot com.
Grandpa: Oh…So, did you read about that fire that happened in our town yesterday?
Matt: Oh yeah. It’s funny, I actually Dugg that story right when it happened.
Grandpa: You dug what now?
Matt: That story.
Grandpa: Why would you have to dig up a newspaper story? You didn’t pick it out of the trash did you? I thought your parents gave you money—
Matt: No, Grandpa. Digg. It’s like Stumbling, only it’s like you’re voting for a story online instead.
Grandpa: Oh I get it. But aren’t you afraid you’ll stumble over something after you dig it up?
Matt: Uh…yeah, well, it’s a risk.
Grandpa: We used to dig up land mines in the War.
Matt: Oh yeah, I saw a video like that on YouTube once.
Grandpa: My tube?
Matt: No, YouTube. It’s this website where you can watch a whole bunch of videos.
Grandpa: What’s that got to do with a tube?
Matt: I guess it’s kinda like, you know, the “boob tube.”
Grandpa: [Whispering] I told you he’d look at porn on that laptop, Henrietta.
Matt: What?
Grandpa: Just talking to your grandmother. Anyway, I also called to remind you about the family reunion at our new house next weekend. Did you get the directions your dad emailed you?
Matt: Oh yeah, I saved them in my Del.icio.us page.
Grandpa: Your delicious page? You’re studying pastry now? I thought you said you wanted to be a lawyer.
Matt: No, Del.icio.us. It’s like, uh, a big site that bookmarks other sites.
Grandpa: Why would you need to do that if you already stumbled all over them?
Matt: I don’t know. Oh, Grandpa, did you get my history essay I sent to you?
Grandpa: Read it.
Matt: Oh cool, you linked it on Reddit? I musta missed it. Reddit’s okay I guess. But don’t you agree their karma system’s a little unfair?
Grandpa: Huh, what? No, I read it. What the hell are you blabbering about, boy?
Matt: Nothing. Forget I even said anything.
Grandpa: Look, make sure to remind your sister about that reunion. You know how forgetful she is.
Matt: Don’t worry, I’ll hit her up on Facebook in a second.
Grandpa: Huh? I don’t want you hitting her in the face.
Matt: No, Facebook, Grandpa.
Grandpa: Is that anything like that Myface I keep hearing about?
Matt: You mean Myspace.
Grandpa: Well, I don’t give a damn whose whose space it is, just watch out for each other when you leave. There’s a lot of crime in your city.
Matt: Crime isn’t that bad, actually. I Wiki’d last night and statistics show—
Grandpa: You did what last night?! What’s Wikiing? That’s not something gay, is it? Are you gay, Mathew?
Grandmom: [Whispering to Grandpa] I knew it James, I always knew it.
Matt: No, no. It’s…never mind, Grandpa.