The DMV... It's Not as Bad as You Would Think

So I had to go to the DMV and get a new license because I just turned 21. And of course I was afraid to go because of all of the horrible stories I had heard. If you ever get the chance to go to the DMV, pass it up. The stories about the ridiculous long wait and the weird strange people you see are all true…but i still had a kick ass time.

First I got there and they gave me a ticket that said when I would be called. It was kind of like going to a movie, but the movie is a four hour long Genna Davis movie. At the time I received my ticket they were serving B824, I almost crapped my pants when I looked down to see my number was B993. So since I knew I was in for a long wait I searched for the nearest chair. I found a perfect vacant seat next to a mother and her son, who were reading an Arthur book out loud. You know the kids book with the kid that looks like a moose and always has some sort of problem. I think the story was about Arthur’s quest to find the missing transgender or whatever. Really I don’t remember what the book was about…but what I do know is that it’s always good to see my old friend Arthur is doing well.

I passed the rest of the time counting all the girls at the DMV I would probably have sex with. I was generous on some of the girls and came up with seven lucky ladies. There was a couple “iffy” choices in there, but I’ve had sex with worse.

Then a really hot girl sat down across from me, and guess what, she asked if a I had a piece of gum. Out of all the guys there, she asked me for a piece of gum. Though recalling back to all of the guys at the DMV I think I was probably the only approachable one. I mean I was the only one with a full set of teeth and no rat-tail haircut. I’m pretty sure it took an average of three and half people to fill a whole mouth of teeth. I was a catch to say the least, let’s just say that. But I digress she was hot, we talked, I got shut down, her loss.

Then I noticed a couple of celebrities while I was at the DMV. I saw all of the “Homies” characters from the quarter machines from your neighborhood Wal-Mart. They were dead on matches to the ones in the machines, I swear to God. Just seeing all of those “Homies” in one room made me want to catch them all and put them back in their little plastic balls they came out of…like pokemon, yeah pokemon. Gotta catch em all Homies.

Those four hours passed like they were nothing and finally my number came up and I stood up with tremendous excitement and screamed BINGO! I gotta stop watching National Bingo Night on NBC. It was a lot funnier in my head, they must hear that all the time from all the stares I got from all of the DMV employees. But to wrap it up I has fun and I only wanted to kill myself a handful of times. And as you can see the DMV isn’t as bad as you would think. You get to hit on girls, see local celebrities, and catch up with old friends. Not half bad it I say so myself.