(Enter two typical high school seniors doing whatever typical high school seniors do i.e. going through the drive-thru, eating cereal, listening to music, smoking weed, etc.)

Teen 1: So I find out I'm going to need a lot more money for college…

Teen 2: Whoa, didn't you get a scholarship?

Teen 1: Yeah, I got a whole $250, but I'm still short! I didn't know college would be so expensive! I wish there was a way I could have the money now, like if I borrowed it from someone and paid it back later…

Teen 2: Pssh, keep dreamin', man. I'm pretty sure nobody would just loan you the money, not even a bank.

Contemporary Older Guy: Whoa, fellas. Haven't you heard about Student Loan Corporation?

Teen 1: Student loan? Why, I've never heard of such a thing, even though I'm 18 years old and my urban attitude indicates my streetwise sensibilities.

COG: If you come up short for college, there's Student Loan Corporation. You can borrow anywhere from $1,500 to $700,000,000 and you don't have to pay it back until AFTER YOU GRADUATE!

Teen 2: Get the fuck outta here!

Teen 1: And I can get my parents to cosign the loan so I can get the money NOW!

Teen 2: Wait, I thought you didn't know anything…

COG: AHEM, so if you need more money for books…

(Book magically appears in Teen 1's hands.)

COG: …lab fees…

(Book is replaced by microscope.)

COG: …room and board…

(Microscope disappears.)

COG:…or anything else a college dude needs, *cough*BEER*cough, call Student Loan Corporation.

Token Black Guy: Yo, it'z a snap. BUH-LEE DAT!