It’s sort of a boy.
Let’s just hope when you die it dies with you
I don’t think anything is wrong, you can go… Whoa! I don’t think shaking hands is necessary right now.
Now when you look in the mirror at your new nose keep in mind yesterday was St. Paddy’s day and my last name is O’Connor.
You have what my Uncle Frank had…He was a good man.
I’ll take some money off your surgery if you can score me some clean urine.




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News Feed History of the World: April 2012
Choose Your Own Adventure: Office Edition
I Think My Draw Something Partner Might Have Been Kidnapped
Travel Posters for Lazy People
25 Phrases You'll Hear When You Go Out, and What They Really Mean
25 Things You Say During Sex, And What You Really Mean
This guy better go to the ER...which stands for the Excellence Room! Boom.
Can I apply to Facebook College?
When you use GPS, your destination is always the grave.
The fact that the Nicolas Cage Project is not funded by the federal government is a TRAVESTY.
Bad news: Rihanna is wearing clothes in these pictures. Good news: they're mostly see-through.
It's a PERSONAL MASSAGER-slash-toothpaste, okay?
Next thing you know they'll be saying Titanic really happened!
This is how true gamers see the world every day.
What part of "metrosexual, black Abe Lincoln" is supposed to make me NOT like him?
If that iPod breaks, he is screwed.