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Vincent J Pussybody

Who Said It: God (According To Christian Fundamentalists) Or A Twelve Year Old Boy?

by Vincent J Pussybody on

– “Adam, you’re such a little bitch. You do everything your girlfriend says. You can’t hang out here anymore.”


- “I hate fags. They’re just so gay.”


- “I just thought of a sweet prank: let’s bury these chicken bones in the playground so some stupid idiot will think they’re dinosaurs or something. Then we’ll throw cat food at him!”


- “Whoa! From right here I can see into Molly Taylor’s bedroom while she’s changing! Awwwweesssooooommeee…”


- “Dude, Noah, instead of building a dirt jump, you should build this like HUGE boat. It’ll be so sweet, dude! We can have, like, two of every animal on it, and a kick ass half pipe!”



- “No, you can’t ascend into my Super Awesome Treehouse Club. I mean, sure, you’ve led a life of pure good, but you’re a fucking Jew.”


- “I just got my first boner!”


- “I got the First Boner.”

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Vincent J Pussybody

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A Christmas Larceny

I used to work for a chinese computer company that no longer exists; one Christmas Eve a man comes into the store right as we are closing and counting money and insists that we start up the Point of Sale system again and sell him the video card he reserved online. We tell him that the computers have been shut down and all the transactions of the day batched and sent to the... Read More » credit card vendor. He keeps telling us that it's already paid for etc. and we keep telling him we can't process any more transactions until the morning of Dec. 26th. He then takes out a revolver and makes us lay on the floor while he steals the cash drawers and takes off. Turns out he had in fact reserved the video card online and his full name, address and phone number were in the system along with his email address; i bet his New Year sucked.