You wanna lift with me? Tough shit limp dick, you wouldn’t last a rep. I move more iron than a battleship. I grunt louder than a jet engine. My traps are larger than your mom’s fat ass. My biceps peak higher than Everest. I’ve memorized every single Arnold quote from Pumping Iron, which by the way is the second greatest movie next to Goodfellas. Hell, you know those 100lb plates they’ve got now? Yea they brought those in cause of me.
What’s that? Re-rack my weights? Fuck that they’ve got the gym bitches to do that peasant work. If I wanna empty the entire contents of the dumbbell rack you better damn well believe I will. It’s just an aftermath of my sheer dominance of this iron dungeon. Now get outta my way lard ass, as soon as my bro “Joey Pounds” blasts my ass with an Absolute Anabolic Anal Injection you better believe I’m gonna storm this gym like its Normandy.
Yoga pants so tight, they've become a part of her.
Wow, I guess having 5 blades does make a difference.
"Things Stoners Haven't Turned into Bongs" -- The Shortest Book in the World
Journalists finally revealing some hard-to-face truths
Kate Upton blocks shot of a beautiful sunset
Roommate Contract: (1) I will make your life a living hell.
Ways to meet women if you're tired of being normal.
Fixed it!
The kind of sports you can expect to see on ESPN17
Oh good, my package came. I've got a big night ahead of me.
