Metal Action/Metal Person

As far as topics that have been largely ignored in mainstream academia go, this is possibly the most overlooked. Bands such as Iron Maiden and Led Zeppelin have made their names writing songs based upon works such as Coleridge’s “Rime of the Ancient Mariner” and Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings trilogy. Chock full of literary references, these epic “metal rock” ballads provide a new, unacademic look at classic pieces of literature.
But what of the ideas of the rockers themselves? A new book, Metal Thinking, Metal Action, answers that question. Drawing from interviews, song lyrics, and other sources of information, the new book asks questions of the rockers and, more often than not, gets questions in response. Contributors include the legends such as Ozzy Osbourne, James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich of Metallica, Lemmy of Motorhead, Bruce Dickinson of Iron Maiden, and Gene Simmons of KISS. The prevailing image of these men is that of lust-driven hedonists, but Metal Thinking, Metal Action shows a different picture (though in Gene Simmons’s case, the assumption proves true).
Since experiencing something is far more effective and beneficial than reading about it (a lesson universities across the nation could stand to learn), here are some excerpts from the novel.

“The Nice Life,” by Gene Simmons: The only real life, the true one, that matters, is yours. Gene Simmons, of course, does not mean your life, Gene Simmons means his. Consider, for a moment, Gene Simmons’s life. He is one awesome dude, able to score drugs, get ass, and make absurd amounts of money with a flick of his God-damned wrist. He, for all intents and purposes, is the king of the world (and not the “night time” world, which some have suggested). The way to live life is not to base your life on any bullshit religion, but base it on Gene Simmons’s life. Start a band, play horrible glam-rockish anthems, and wear re-goddamn-diculous outfits.

“Hrusyan!” by Ozzy Osbourne: Haysnk hurrgnah dugme ndddd Sharon! Polehtn Toma goddamn hufasig huihdsfi damnit Sharon! Whan hiuoagh jomvuesnla jcohoiean ncoj oaejijf I’m going to kill that fucking dog, Sharon! Jiaso nnanugrenu iaosmng oajbjuyey jioibj jiaoo paojfe qqjonvaod. Muanisndt joasind. What do you mean, OzzFest is free this year? Cajisa! JIOSJOAF! JKBOIHBM KOPASJD NVAOAAAAM MIOAMFO SHARON!

“Philosophizing the Metal Way,” by Bruce Dickinson: Thus, from reading the Buddha’s works, we glean a meaning of reality not shown by Christianity, which has time and time again fallen back on the iron maiden, from which my band gets its name.
Once, a long time ago, as I sat backstage at the Rock In Rio metal festival, I philosophized with my band on various subjects. Foremost among them was this: Which era was, truly, the most “metal” in human history? Our comrades in Led Zeppelin had a certain fascination with Norse mythology. Was this the true “metal way?” Did our metal ancestors live in the frigid cold of Scandinavia, “Land of the ice and snow?” Maiden, as a group, looked through our catalogue of records and landed on one album that made us realize the Truth (If such an idea can be absolute, as defined by postmodern and existentialist notions.).
Powerslave is a mutt. We started it off with an homage to those brave souls who took part in the World War II Air Forces; they were metal. Then, we move to a reference to the Doomsday Clock in “2 Minutes To Midnight.” Though the notion of a willing destruction of not just one nation, but all of humanity, is of course depressing, it is an idea that is metal; for one of the tenants of metal as set forth in the Early Days is that metal must, in some form, be epic—devastation on such a level is the pinnacle in Epic. Then we have “Back in the Village,” about which we honestly have no idea. Does it have a deep meaning? What the hell is going on? In any case, it sounds metal. Lastly, look thee upon “Rime of the Ancient Mariner,” which is a blatant rehashing of a truly “metal” poem, in turn possibly based upon the events in Homer’s Odyssey (note the similarity in the folly of man against immortal forces). Such a poem (read it if you have not) is epic. Our version is undeniably metal; one would be hard-pressed to argue to the contrary.
So then, we come to the realization that “metal” is not confined to one time period or literary genre, but all times and genres. Just as we are all the Buddha, so then are all times truly “metal.”

“College Students, Give Us Your Money!” by Lars Ulrich and James Hetfield: Do you really need any further explanation? Fuck Art. Fuck all notions that Art should be free to the masses, as common ground to all peoples. What matters, motherfuckers, is the greenbacks one can make from so-called Art if one plays their cards right.

“Epicureans, They’ve Got it Right,” by Lemmy Kilmister: “Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow may bring death.” True words. Why should we bother ourselves with worries of what can happen; of what would happen; of what should have happened? Might as well make light of the whole bloody situation and live the good life now. Simmons, in an earlier chapter, the narcissistic bastard, said that his life was the model of the good life. Though he’s wrong on the “only” part, he’s right on the other parts. We cannot all afford to take part in the extravagances in which he delights (nor should we; the bugger should have been dead sixteen times over), but we can enjoy ourselves.
Life may have its suffering, but it’s got its got its good parts, too. Vonnegut claims, rightly so, that people base too many of their outlooks on life on when they’re miserable. Notice, as he says, when you’re happy. Figure out what made you happy, and if you can duplicate it. Really, if gambling (in our case representing mortal pleasures) is for fools, then I don’t want to live forever; nor should you.