Now, right about now, you just want to know what the hell do here. Well youre going to get the answer through the writings of the experienced.

Recently, me and my friends went out on an island to just have a fun time and drink. 4 guys, 4 heiny mini kegs 2 kayaks. Well needless to say 1 heiniken keg went missing by way of my mouth at about 10pm. Unbeknownst to me, I can be easily lifted and put into a kayak without gaining consciousness from being passed out drunk.

So step 1 into avoiding this problem, is to know how much you weigh, the fatter you are the less likely you are to being moved, poked, or proded by people, but more likely to be written on. Thats why they make billboards so big. Or just spray yourself with deer musk, no one will touch you

Well, also an unaccounted factor when entering this night of drinking would be the distance a kayak can be pushed from shore and how far it actually goes. The answer to that question is, about as far away from shore that you only see trees and not houses around you.

So, here we come to Step 2. When Step 1 didnt work, well you're not in a kayak in the middle of a lake at 12am. Don't panic. Its not so hard to paddle with your hands and remain a steady balance while tryin to remember how to breath like a guppy and avoid the fish who are nimbling on the trail of vomit you just left on your viking voyage.

So what to do. Step 3, head the opposite way of the laughter you hear. Those are your friends you hear. Theyre the ones who just put you in the kayak. They're the ones who just shaved a penis into your back hair with a money symbol.

Well, heres where your drunken cleverness can get the best of them.Step4Look for the nearest street, paddle to it. Leave canoe on side of road. Walk home.

Well you've got 1 of 2 kayaks in a group 4 people.Congratulations. You've just returned the favor. But remember, if a cop stops you at 1am and youre wearing a bright vestlife vest covered in vomit. Do not say you were on the titanic. Just say its a running vest, and try hard as hell to remember your god damn name! Thats where they get you!