(Superman sits on couch in living room, shining his glasses. Batman enters)
Superman: Hey, Bruce.
Superman: Bruce, for the last time call me Clark or Kal-el. Hell, call me Supes, if you want. Just quit the "Dark Knight" bullshit when we're at home.
S: How was your day?
S: That's good. (pauses for response) My day was good. Stopped a few plane crashes, diverted a few possible catastrophic meteorites. You know, same old. Business has been slow since Luthor is out of town on vacation.
(Batman remains silent, looking through mail on coffee table as if he were unaware that Superman is there)
S: Aquaman called. He said the Justice League meeting for tomorrow is cancelled because the Hall of Justtice is being fumigated for Parademons after our last encounter with Darkseid.
(Batman still silent)
S: Oh, and the Joker called this morning. He left a message- (looks around) here it is. (reading outloud slowly) "You're dead, Bats. This clown is going to make Gotham his Fun House. Ha. Ha. Ha. You'll see who has the last laugh. Ha. Ha -" and he kept laughing until i hung up the phone. That's one crazy guy. Seems nice.
B: He is a deranged lunatic. A menace. A cancer. A man unhinged from-
S: (loudly) Alright! God, man, calm down. I'm sorry i don't get your friends.
(They both sit in silence, looks of annoyance on their faces)
S: So we're never going to talk about it are we?
B: There's nothing to talk about.
S: Bruce, it's not my fault Wonder Woman turned you down. I didn't know you were interested in her when we teamed up to fight Brainiac. We tried to call you but you were busy stopping Mr. Freeze from turning Gotham into an icecube. How well my powers and Wonder Woman's work together shouldn't affect our relationship as roommates.
B: Kiss my rich ass, Kent. You're a friggin' boyscout, your powers are bland and predictable. You wouldn't know how to fully appreciate a woman like Wonder Woman. Gotham would eat you alive.
S: Ah, not again with Gotham. (mockingly) "Gotham would eat you alive", "Metropolis is no Gotham", "I am the Bat!" No one buys that brooding vigilante bullshit anymore. You're just a rich boy with a bunch of gadgets that hates the sun.
S: Emotionally damaged cave dweller!
B: Mama's Boy!
S: Boy Lover!
(They both go quiet with equally embarrased/awkward looks on their faces)
S: Look, I went too far. I know you and Robin are just partners in crime fighting. I'm a super-moron.
B: It's fine, man. I'm used to the whole "more than just a ward" crap by now.
S:Everyone knows you 've totally hooked up with Catwoman like a bunch of times.
B:(grinning) You've got that right, made that kitty purr! Please tell me you've got in on with the lady reporter at least once.
S: Who, Lois? I wish. She's still tricked by my alter-ego disguise of masking my face with glasses.
B: What! You're kidding, right?
S: No, man. I can barely keep her from falling to her own doom every three hours, let alone get into her pants.
(They both laugh)
B: Aw, man. You know what, you should totally team-up with Wonder Woman if you want. She wouldn't really get me, anyways.
S: Thanks, man. (pauses) So we're cool?
B: Does Kryptonite give you heinous back acne?
S: Dude, I told you to keep that to yourself.
(They both burst out in laughter)