Cialis: Because your erection is dysfunctional.

You see there’s your love life, and then there’s your limp dick. That’s why I take Cialis. It gives me the flexibility of being ready fast, like for masturbating after seeing my neighbor’s daughter at the cross walk the other day, or for up to the thirty six hours it takes me to beg my wife to have sex with me.

After a romantic dinner I paid for with money I obtained from a fraudulent disabilities claim, and an hour or two of forced laughs barely masking our mutual contempt for each other, my partner and I return to our two bedroom track house in a Korean car we’re financing on a high-interest rate credit card.

Now I know in the commercial my wife is actually acceptably attractive considering her age, but in reality she is overweight, and has hair the texture of an old straw broom. That’s why I take Cialis. Cialis gives me an erection even when I’m not aroused, and it helps with whiskey dick after the three or more drinks I need to even bare the sight of her.

With Cialis, lovemaking is different. My erection is harder and lasts longer. I climax after a solid minute and a half rather than the usual nightly ritual of drunkenly prodding her behind with my rubbery member before ejaculating all over our sheets after about twenty seconds. Cialis lets us bask in the afterglow of the experience. My wife no longer refuses to look at me, and after fourteen years of marriage she has finally seen me naked.

Ask your doctor if he cares if Cialis is right for you. Only take Cialis if you’re not dying and healthy enough for sexual activity. Cialis does not protect against sexually transmitted diseases, such as HIV, which you tested positive for after having sex with a transsexual escort you charged on your company account. Common side effects are headache, nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, and stroke, sometimes all at once. Consult your doctor if you experience an erection lasting for longer than four days, unless you own an obscenely large collection of deviant pornography, or are an American.