The Top Ten Mistakes a College Student can Make on Facebook

Each of these ten deadly sins on a friend’s profile…all of these are, unforunately, real.



10. Joining hate groups just to argue against them
Awesome as it is that you feel you should put Nazis down, don’t do it on Facebook. When we see that you have joined the group “Hitler Rocks!” we’ll all be raising eyebrows, since most of us won’t bother reading the coments you left.

9. Don’t friend adults, especially if they’re administrators, RAs, or parents!

What the heck are adults even doing on facebook in the first place? If you don’t know them they’re probably sex offenders. But if you do?You don’t want your RA to see that one of your interests is frat parties, trust me. Oh yea, and if the parent of your best friend friends you, reject it immedietely…don’t get youir friend in trouble and make herverbally ban you from his mom to never talk to you again. But if you reject your girlfriend’s/boyfriend’s dad’s request you won’t be allowed into your dear’s house again? No worries. Thank Zuckerman there’s such a thing as a limited profile…use it no on will know.


8. Don’t post that you know confidential information if you do!

OK OK I admit it. I do this myself. the good news for me? My schools oesn’t have a football team, so now star quarterback and hot cheerleader. the bad news? My school is crazy about ice hockey. I’ll probably I realize that I made a mistake when I get a phone call from a member of the Dog Pound telling me that he has kidnapped my grandmother and will release her only after I give him the star forward’s cellphone number.


7. Primary network is high school network
Hey, Freshman, a quick reality check for you. You don’t go to high school anymore. C’mon, get with the program.


6. Crossdressing…especially if you are a guy.

If you’re gay, that’s cool, keep it going. If you’re not and we see a picture of you you wearing a dress, we’ll assume you are. And if you’re straight, tell me honestly…how high/drunk were you to even put that thing on in the first place?


5. Don’t go on Facebook wasted and then write in a political group!

Trust me, I’ve tried. You would look more like a 2nd grader who can’t spell than a college student. Simply not worth the risk.


4. Dont’t make your profile picture of yourself doing hookah.

Even if it’s the legal kind, your employer may happen to come by it and think it’s weed. Avoid the pink slip when you can, will ya?



3. Don’t make a profile picture of anyone but yourself!

The picture of the wasted panda looks awesome, but unless you can tranform like an ANimorph or have stolen a panda from the San Diego zoo, got it drunk, and made it a Facebook page, it’s not you. And please, no questionmark. Then we just think you have scars all over your faceor something.

2. Do not post pictures of yourself holding alcohol!

You do realize administrators and employers can look at those any time, right? The worse that can happen to you? You get kicked out of school. The least? Your RA begins stalking you on Saturday nights.

1. Do not write about illegal drugs onyour profile page!

Quoted from “activities” from a friend of mine…recruited for a varsity team no less:
“soccer, watching porn, smokin blunts with my homies, rocks, soccer”

umm buddy? Irealize thatthey only test you for steroids, but if you don’t remove everything except “soccer” you may be forced to remove “soccer” from your activities in he near future…

But hey…why are you getting so freaked out? If you can understand the Fundamental system of calculus, surely you can figure out how to use the “privacy” feature on facebook?