Letter of Apology to the Girl Whose Boob I Touched By Accident on the Bus

Tanner
123 College Drive
Colegetown, USA
12345


Dear Miss,
On September 25th, 2007 at approximately 11:15 A.M., I accidentally touched your left breast. We were on the bus passing the student center when it happened. Perhaps you were aware because you may or may not have given me the “stink eye” for the next three stops. I hope you will let me explain.
I assure you that my action was not intentional. As you probably well know, the bus drivers here at State are crazy/drunk/murderous, and I was more or less thrown in your direction upon the acceleration from said driver. Contrary to what you may think, I was not aiming for you because of your low cut shirt and rather large breats (D cups?). I could just have easily have fallen into the clutches of the fat man in the Family Guy t-shirt to your right, but simple physics lead me to you and your mammaries.
I would also like to for some of the other activities that may or may not have taken place during my collision with you and your massive jugs: smelling, tingling sensations, wondering how into spooning you are, guessing your name (Britney?), picturing what are kids would look like, or hoping if you had an identical twin (Whitney?).
In closing, I would again like to apologize for my fauz pas and hope that you and your tits can forgive me. To ease things over, I have included a free certificate for one (1) free back rub.

Sincerely,
Tanner

Enclosure: Back Rub Coupon