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Arjun

What Your stupid AIM Away Message Says About You

by Arjun on

“I am away from my computer right now” – Too stupid to figure out how to set an away message, or too lazy to tell people what you’re up to (which is the whole point of AIM)

“ltr mch” – what the fuck does this mean? Last week it was “lbr slp plt.” These are the same people who write “byee” and “nyce” and “shyt.” Get over yourself.

“I love you, I want you to hold me…” – This person always has some lovesick lyrics ready to express how they’re feeling. Probably a cutter. Stay away, and DO NOT, under any circumstances, HAVE A RELATIONSHIP with this person. Underneath their sweet persona, they are completely psychotic.

“fuck the world” – Well, the world doesn’t want your whining ass anyway.

“class – library – study hall – class – dinner – homework – sleep” – While it’s nice that you’re willing to outline your entire day, at this point it’s kind of desperate. The only reason to give this much information is if you think you might go missing halfway through the day, and want investigators to know where you were all day. Other than that, a simple “out” would have sufficed.

“Over at (frat)…” 4 hours later… “I don’t want to talk about it.” – This just isn’t fair. It’s like the “Yada Yada Yada” Seinfeld episode. People who leave the “I don’t want to talk about it” secretly do, and are expectantly waiting for your IM asking them what happened. Don’t give them the satisfaction.

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Whiny inmate

I worked at a prison as a corrections officer (prison guard) and there was a particular inmate there who always complained about everything. For three months I endured his rants on how the lights were too bright, the rooms too hot, the blankets too scratchy, and so on. Obviously this is prison and no one gets luxury accommodations. I reached the end of my rope one morning... Read More » when I had to go down the run and wake him up at 7 AM for transport somewhere else in the state for a medical procedure. The guy is all grumpy, complaining about how I'm getting him up at the "ass crack of dawn." He demanded to be allowed time to take a shower, heat and drink some coffee and have a smoke. The van taking him away was already waiting for him and I knew for a fact that he'd taken a shower before going to bed the night before. I told him there wasn't time for any of that, he just had to get dressed and get to the van. He begins swearing and ranting about how inhumanely we were treating him and after months of his complaints I couldn't hold it in anymore. "I know, it sucks how early you have to get up to get your free medical care, huh?" I told him. He was immediately silent . He got dressed and left in a huff. I later found out how he wrote a grievance to the warden about my comment. Inmate complaints are occasionally reason for worry, so I was nervous when the warden called me in to his office. It turned out he just thought my comment was hilarious and told me to keep up the good work.