Literally Last Minute Halloween Costume Ideas

For most lazy people, even “last minute” costume ideas are too time consuming because “last minute” is actually a figure of speech.

These people need real last minute costume ideas. Ideas that quite literally take sixty seconds or less to prepare. So for those of you still stressing at 9:59, here are some legit “last minute” costume ideas.

Computer Salesman

What You Need: A computer. Upper body strength.

Total Prep Time: 25 seconds to unplug the cords, another second to lift the tower over your shoulder.

Remember: To shout “Computer For Sale!” but DO NOT sell your computer. You have all those sick games.

Face Mummy

What You Need: Half a roll of toilet paper.

Total Prep Time: Fifty seconds to wrap your face and another couple seconds to tape it down.

Remember: When people ask you what a “face mummy” is, say “I dunno, what is any costume? What is a fairy or an angel? They’re all made up. Where’s the punch?”

Full

What You Need: Elementary facial control. Arms.

Total Prep Time: Less than one second to stick out your gut and another second to look satiated/uncomfortable.

Remember: Since your costume is “full,” in order to stay in character, you won’t be able to eat any Halloween snacks for the night. That includes those orange oreos.

Backpack

What You Need: Books. Anybody else.

Total Prep Time: It takes ten seconds or so to find the books, and another 5 seconds to find a host body.

Remember: Never let go of your host, regardless of how much he begs/pleads. He is now half of your costume whether he likes it or not.

Man Riding Horse

What You Need: Semi-Malleable Plastic/Latex. Synthetic Polyester.

Total Prep Time: If you are crafty enough, 45 seconds. Though it may take you upwards of a full minute.

Remember: To sew a nice smile into the horsey so he looks playful.

Mousepad

What You Need: A mouse.

Total Prep Time: Two seconds to lift up the mouse.

Remember: To bring the mouse. Without it, you’re costume is less believable (but still usable!)