Guy: Hey, how you doing?
American Apparel Model: I’m good. Just chilling out in a really flattering angular position.
Guy: Cool. Can I get you a beer?
American Apparel Model: Sure
Guy: Here you go. Here. You can take the beer. Here’s your beer. Are you going to take it?
American Apparel Model: I can’t. Sorry. If I move my arms at all, my nipples will show and I’d go from being edgy and artsy to pornographic. Plus, I wouldn't want to spill any beer on my tights, I wear them with everthing.
Guy: Oh, okay. Well my buddies and I are sitting over there. Come join us.
American Apparel Model: I can’t. I have to stay here against this floral background. I’d look really ridiculous without it.
(Curvy girl walks by with her boyfriend. She's wearing the same outfit)
Boyfriend: See baby, I told you. Only Asian chicks can pull that off.
(Curvy girl starts crying)

Guy: Hi. I like your…um…you have really great…ah… I like your socks.
American Apparel Model: Thanks! They’re stirrup socks! I usually wear them with my navy velour romper, but it’s in the wash.
Guy: Right. So let me get you a beer.
American Apparel Model: I actually have about thirty already lined up here. Guys keep bringing them to me.
Guy: Oh okay. Well my buddies and I are sitting over there. Wanna come join us?
American Apparel Model: No thanks. I’m really comfy standing here with my leg up against this window.
(Some Hipsters walk by)
Hipster 1: I have those socks.
Hipster 2: Me too. I wear them with my hot pink Chuck Taylors.
Hipster 1: Me too. Wow, showing a little butt crack, but no pussy…
Hipster 2: Brilliant!

Guy: So, you go to the beach today?
American Apparel Model: Oh, no I wear this swimsuit everywhere. To work, to the bank, to bed…
Guy: So is the camel toe uncomfortable?
American Apparel Model: Yeah, it’s awful! But doesn’t it make you want to buy this bathing suit?!
Guy: Uh, not really. But I do wanna fuck you.
American Apparel Model: Okay, let’s go back to my place and you can watch me almost touch myself.
Guy: Sweet!