"Nice"

Meet Debra Lafave. She’s the teacher you only dreamt of having when you were in 7th grade, and she’s a little bit batshit. In case you haven’t heard of her, back in 05 she had a prolonged affair with one of her 14 year old students. Her husband, actually a decent looking dude, was completely bewildered. So were millions of other men in America. One of two things led to this occurrence. Either her husband couldn’t give her what she needed, or this 14 year old is some kind of stud. Regardless, she’s still hot, so this cancels out her insanity. I think the most important question in a situation like this is “Where were these teachers when I was 14?” Men all around the country are scratching their collective heads.

A development like this holds all kinds of legal implications. For instance, statutory rape is considered any inappropriate conduct (sexual in nature) between an adult and a child, so “technically” she raped a 14 year old kid. We should all be so lucky. As you can probably already tell, there are glaring incongruities with this rape charge. The first that jumps out at the common observer is the classification of this 14 year old as a “child”. If a guy that young hits a homerun that far out of the park, he is no longer a child. He immediately becomes a man, and not just any man, but “the man”. I know grown men with families who would give up 10 years of their children’s lives to sleep with something like that.

The second noticeable problem with this trumped up rape charge are the inappropriate actions that have been alleged. Inappropriate? The only thing inappropriate is the way the media treated this generous lady. She was gracious enough to bring something wonderful into the life of a pubescent teen, and the media rained on their parade. I mean, if a man donged a 14 year old girl, then that would be inappropriate. Maybe. Actually, it would depend on how the girl looked. Which in essence is my point; if Debra Lafave had been ugly, then the punishment would have fit the crime. As it is, her hotness should have rendered her innocent. Any crime of this nature should be declassified to a misdemeanor because of her looks, and the boy should get a hardy slap on the back. What’s so ludicrous about this entire situation is the fact that a 14 year old boy won the pussy lottery and the court took away his ticket. Not since Ebenezer Scrooge and Tiny Tim has a greater injustice occurred. I have no doubt that the judge of the case was a leather skinned old lady who wore Doc Martins. That’s the kind of person who would ruin a love story.