Roommate Confessions

I know this is what you’ve been waiting all weekend for. Check out the top 5 Roommate Confessions this week and don’t forget to send yours to RoommateConfessions@ Gmail.com

I am not a Satan worshiper as I led you to believe with my blacklight rituals and assorted leftover meat parts. That was just to get your Born-Again ass out of the room as soon as possible.
Anonymous, George Washington University

I accidentally broke your monitor, but never told you it was me, because I didn’t want to have to pay for it.
Greg, School Not Given

Freshman year my roommate had sex with his girlfriend in my bed the second day we were there. He happened to be allergic to drier sheets, so I wiped them all over his bed, so over the next few days he broke out in hives and missed his classes.
John, Purdue

In our triple my roommate and I would make up fake screen names pretending we were girls and instant message our third roommate telling him we met him at a party and would convince him to meet “the girl” at random places on campus that we could see from our room. We would watch him sit there and wait for like 30 minutes at a time.
Jon, Anonymous School

I was the one that switched your fuck buddy’s number and your mom’s cell phone number in your phone. I almost lost it when you told me the story of sending your mom the text “Are you wet?” only to have her call you right away and hear you answer with “Mmm I bet you want my hard cock right now, huh babe?” You were pretty shaken up when you told me.
Alex, Evergreen State College

Don’t forget to send your roommate confessions to RoommateConfessions @Gmail.com