Gregg Doyel is Ggay

Before I begin, let me say that there is no better feeling than taking a complete stranger’s money and buying something totally unnecessary with it. I won a grand in Vegas over the weekend playing No Limit Hold ‘em at the Bellagio, and with it, I bought thirty-four subscriptions to .Why? On the off chance that I could call the Asian dudes who I beat, and let him know what I spent their rent money on.

Now, that’s a joke, of course. The one place in Las Vegas where people aren’t pissing away their rent money is the Poker Room at the Bellagio. Why? Because Texas Hold ‘em isn’t a get rich quick type of game. Anybody who knows anything about Hold ‘Em knows that it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

Let’s look at a quote from Doyel’s “article”:

“When it comes to hard-core gambling, there are no winners. Just losers.”

Right, losers like Phil Ivey, the Tiger Woods of Poker. Widely regarded as a genius, this legend-in-the-making has a McLaren SLR, and does extensive charity work.

Doyel also says:

“Freedom to gamble is like freedom to inhale crack or inject heroin.”

And freedom to write sensationalist hyperbole is like freedom to be Gregg Doyel.

Listen, is gambling dangerous? Of course it is. But if you’re trying to help out those sick people who get a paycheck and deposit it at the casino, railing against Hold ‘Em won’t help. When you play black jack, you put your money on the line you know what your cards are. It’s all luck. But in poker, if you get a shitty pocket hand, (unless you’re a blind,) you don’t have to pay a dime. AND, when you play poker, you don’t play the house. The odds are much more in your favor, because the Casino doesn’t care who wins.

Finally, Doyel writes:

“Regular people go to jail. Regular people commit suicide. Because of gambling.”

Right. Hey, Ggregg, I got a hot tip on a story for you, dude. You think a lot of people go to jail and commit suicide because of gambling? Well, there’s this other thing that makes people do those things a hundred fold. It’s called “love,” and I think you’re the perfect person to blow the lid off it.