If Wikipedia Were A Perverted Dude

Girl: Hey, Wiki.

Wiki: Welcome to Wikipedia! Can I have some money?

Girl: Haha, you’re so weird. You’re great to talk to when I’m bored.

Wiki: I bet you didn’t know I speak Banyumasan…

Girl: Actually yeah, I think you said that last time—

Wiki: maen latek batir.

Girl: You’re so gross.

Wiki: Wait… you know what I said?

Girl: sigh Yes, Wiki. I asked you last time, and then you went and gave me a huge lesson on how to speak Banyumasan. Dholog…

Wiki: Whatever, bitch. Hey you know, this reminds me of a guy I know—

Girl: Hans Ras, yeah I know.

Wiki: FUCK!

Girl: …

Wiki: …

Girl: I’m still bored… how about a random thought?

Wiki: Alright… hey did you know that in Japan, many dildos are created to resemble animals or cartoon characters, like Hello Kitty, so that they may be sold as toys, thus avoiding obscenity laws.

Girl: Ew… how about another one?

Wiki: Hmm… the Kama Sutra mentions rotating the female after penetration in a girl-on-top sex position.

Girl: Uhh… are you sure these are random?

Wiki: Fuckin, yeah. You think I’m trying to get you in the mood for sex, or something? I wasn’t meaning to, but you know… lemme know if it happens.

Girl: This is why I don’t usually talk to you.

Wiki: C’mon, babe. I’m great in bed. I give every girl at least 3 orgasms per night [citation needed]

Girl: What was that at the end?

Wiki: …

Girl: That’s what I thought. Anyway, I should get back to homework. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about neural therapeutics, would you?

Wiki: Nothing on neural therapeutics. How about neural therapy, or penises?

Girl: Nevermind…

Wiki: Wiki’s Penis is the sexual reproductive organ of Wiki, a handsome and smart dude—oooops, how’d I get here?

Girl: I’ll talk to you later, Wiki.

Wiki: This article is a stub. You can help by expanding it…

(yes, this was partially inspired by xkcd)