Stuff You Don't Care About But Will Help You Get Laid

Happy Two Days After Halloween, everyone! It’s a good thing that I dressed as a slutty Dog the Bounty Hunter, because he’s suddenly become relevant in our precious little gossip world. Let’s go!

Looks like our friend Dog Chapman - Hawaii’s best bounty hunter – has found himself in a little bit (okay, a sh*tload) of trouble after his racist rant to his son over the phone got recorded and leaked all over the internet. Whoops! His show is currently on hold and his butt is about to get Imused. Use your words wisely, friends! Also, don’t be a racist a**hole. [WWTDD]

And now, a reminder that people who have everything still manage to look like sh*t:

Britney‘s in charge of the fug, ya’ll! There she is on Halloween lookin’ all beat. I’d hit it thought. I bet she’s got no undies on in that cat suit. [IDLYITW]

Brit got screwed in her custody battle this week, though you can’t tell from the pics. K-Fed is keeping custody, and while in court Brit cried and took a lot of bathroom breaks. She even told a reporter – when asked how it was going in the courtroom: “Eat it, Lick it, Snort it, Fuck it.” SERIOUSLY. But, she does all those things, so it’s cool. [WWTDD, DListed]

Here is a peace offering for all that Britney crap:

COCO! And more Coco:

This isn’t her Halloween costume – she just had some stuff to dust around the house. Like Ice-T’s ass. Hott! [IDLYITW]

Enjoy some other celeb costume choices HERE, like Paris Hilton’s outfit that supports the troops (yes, she said that. Help us, God):

[HollywoodTuna]

Two new couples that make me want to either move to Japan or leap to my death off of a skyscraper:

1. Jessica Simpson and Owen Wilson. Ugh – isn’t he depressed enough already? [WWTDD]
2. Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong?! Isn’t he old enough to be a guy who’s too old to date her? Wrongness! [DListed]

This little tidbit should tell you how slow of a news week it’s been: Bam Margera’s fat uncle is going to jail for touching a bunch of underaged girls. Sigh. I hate myself for even reporting this. [NinjaDude]

Hayden Panettiere went to the beach to save dolphins in Japan and just ended up looking really adorable. The dolphins died, but does anyone care? [CelebSlam]

Not me!
Kate