Mike

To Be Or Not To Be, Fat Is The Question...

Advantages:

1) Can eat whatever I want

2) Huge Poops (See first advantage)

3) Authentic Santa for Christmas

4) Sit on people that make me mad


5) Win “deepest bellybutton” contest


6) Use own breasts as masturbation material when lonely


7) Handi-capped parking


8) Don’t have to exercise


9) More time for Star Wars action figure battles (See eighth advantage)


10) Flatulence less audible due to flaps of flub



Disadvantages:


1) Bed sores


2) Inability to apply ointment to bed sores


3) Disappearance of genitalia


4) Blood turns to gravy


5) Hands become greasy from constant consumption of fried foods


6) Star Wars action figures become greasy (See fifth disadvantage)


7) Can only have sex with fat chicks (Advantage?)


8) Can only walk short distances (Advantage?)


9) Kids use stomach as trampoline


10) Develop fear of trampolines (See ninth advantage)

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