Article

How to Own/Show-Off an iPhone

by Jake Whitaker on


  1. Go to iStore and iBuy iOne.
  2. Learn how to navigate the touch screen (note: this could take days, even weeks, but believe me, it's worth it.)
  3. Nonchalantly pull iPhone out of your pocket around others.
  4. Respond modestly when others notice the iPhone (note: it will not take long for others to notice, iPhone emits a golden aura).
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