Beauty and the Beast's Grandson: Relationship Trouble

Jason walks into his room and hears the rug in the middle of his room whimpering
Jason: Rug, what’s the problem?
Rug: I’m just feeling really down right now.
Comforter: Me too.
Jason: I know what you mean buddy. So what’s up?
Rug: I just let people walk all over me all the time, you know?
Fan: Don’t worry rug, you’re still #1 in my book!
Jason: Well rug, I got to go talk to Ashley then we’ll talk some more.
Shoe: You all listening to this crap?
Alarm Clock: Bite your tongue shoe, Jason’s just trying to cheer up rug.
Shoes: Want to take this outside?
Alarm Clock: Give me a minute! Then we brawl.
Scissors: Cut it out guys.
Glue: Yeah, we need to stick together.
Shoes: Clock, just do it already!
Alarm Clock: One more minute and then I’m going to be on you like white on…
alarm clock goes off
Alarm Clock: HIYA!!
Jason shuts off the alarm and kicks the shoes out of the room
Vent: I hate that guy. Seriously, I hate that guy so much. He always wants to fight someone, I just can’t take it!
Jason: Quiet! Ashley’s calling.
Lamp: I’m so turned on right now.
Jason: Umm, that was my roommate. No babe, I’m not lying babe. Stop, I’m not cheating on you.
Lamp: I’m just so, so freaking hot..
Calculator: Be quiet lamp, I don’t want to go to bed yet. BOOBLESS.
Jason turns off lamp, both the lamp and solar-powered calculator fall asleep
Jason: Babe, stop. No one is here. Don’t cry. I’m telling you the truth.
Bed Sheets: I want you inside of me, Jason.
Jason: Babe, sorry, it was just the TV.
TV: What? Don’t look at me.
Jason: One second babe. What the hell guys?!
Glasses: Can we talk next Jason?
Jason: Are you blind? I’m on the phone. Give me a minute.
Glasses: I see.
alarm clock goes off again
Alarm Clock: Let’s rumble shoe!
Jason turns off alarm clock
Blanky: Jason, hold me…
Jason: Baby, that was nothing. Ashley? Baby? Hello? Damnit, you guys freaking blow.
Fan: I know.