The Rocker's Pocket Guide to Sentences That Do and Do Not Rock

ROCKING SENTENCE:

Seasons don’t fear the reaper
Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain
We can be like they are
Come on baby… Don’t fear the Reaper

- Blue Oyster Cult, “(Don’t) Fear the Reaper”

NON-ROCKING SENTENCE:

Look, I have a whole bunch of reasons why us committing suicide together makes a lot of sense. No no no, now, just wait a minute, hear me out. Reason number one: Seasons. Do you really need me to keep going?? Toss me that razor.

ROCKING SENTENCE:

Ride the tiger
You can see his stripes but you know he’s clean
Oh don’t you see what I mean

- Dio, “Holy Diver”

NON-ROCKING SENTENCE:

Why don’t you get on top of that tiger and use it as transportation from one place to another? Granted, its stripes are visible, which reminds you that it is a vicious, deadly animal, but at least that means it’s not covered in a whole bunch of dirt.

ROCKING SENTENCE:

Do, squeeze, squeeze me, baby, until the juice runs down my leg
The way you squeeze my lemon-a
I’m gonna fall right outta bed, ‘ed, ‘ed, bed, yeah

- Led Zeppelin, “The Lemon Song”

NON-ROCKING SENTENCE:

Give me a handjob, baby, and continue that handjob until I come on my feet. Also, my dick’s name is “Lemon.”

ROCKING SENTENCE:

The floods is threatening
My very life today
Gimme, gimme shelter
Or Im gonna fade away
War, children, its just a shot away
Its just a shot away

- Rolling Stones, “Gimmie Shelter”

NON-ROCKING SENTENCE

The floods is threatning
My very life today
Gimme, gimme shelter
Or Im gonna fade away
War, children, its just a shot away
Its just a shot away…

Thank you very much, you’ve been a great audience. This 2007 tour has been amazing so far…