[Rufio walks into local bank and sits down at desk of nearest accountant]
Teller: Hello sir, what can I help you with this morning?
Rufio: Hi, yeah. I need to open a bank account.
Teller: Okay, what type of account are you interested in? We have checking, saving
Rufio: Boil dripping, beef-fart sniffing, bubble butt!
Teller: What? Anyway, when you open an account with us, you are given access to a free bill pay system as well as free checks for
Rufio: Mung tongue!
Teller: Sir, my sister-in-law is Hmong and it would be greatly appreciated if you could refrain from anymore racial slurs today.
Rufio: You are a week-old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side!
Teller: Okay this is enough. Do you plan on opening an account with us today or not?
Rufio: You mother lover!
Teller: Of course I love my mother. Who doesn’t? That’s not even an insult, really.
Rufio: Fart factory!
Teller: Now you’re just getting ridiculously childish.
Rufio: In your face, camel cake.
Teller: Okay, leave. Come back when you grow up.
Rufio: All grown-ups are pirates.
Teller: Excuse me?
[Rufio stands up, draws his sword]
Rufio: We kill pirates.
[Rufio executes accountant, transforming the bank into a room of stifled screams and stunned faces]
Startled onlookers: RUFIO RUFIO