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105%-O-Matic

105% issue #39

by 105%-O-Matic on

105%

Please enjoy our annual THANKSGIVING SPECTACULAR

Travis Bickle Forgets To Check His T9 Text Function
“You talkin to of? You talkin to of? Well, in the only one here.”
– Dan Gurewitch
Abscesses make the heart grow tumors.
– Streeter Seidell
Sex Acts Based on Superheroes Other Than Superman
- The “Flash:” Finishing in under 4 seconds.
- The “Robin:” Dressing a boy in spandex to aid an older man.
- The “AquaMan:” Talking a fish into having sex with you.
– Chris Richman
Logical Yogi Berra
“It ain’t over ‘till the sixth out of the ninth inning. Assuming each team hasn’t scored an equal number of runs.”
– Patrick Cassels
Skid marks are when you accidentally leave a trail of dried poop in your underwear, but what is it called when it’s on purpose?
– Amir B.
Place Mats at the Antisemitic Diner
MATCHING QUIZ! Match the animal to the sound it makes.

1. MooA. Dog
2. WoofB. Jew
3. $$$C. Cow

– Jeff Rubin
Similarities Between Weed and Sex
- You don’t want your parents to walk in on you – Smells weird – Leaves me with an overwhelming sense of relaxation – Is sticky – Makes me hungry – Costs $60
– Anna Fields

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