105% issue #39

Please enjoy our annual THANKSGIVING SPECTACULAR

Travis Bickle Forgets To Check His T9 Text Function

"You talkin to of? You talkin to of? Well, in the only one here."

Abscesses make the heart grow tumors.

Sex Acts Based on Superheroes Other Than Superman

- The "Flash:" Finishing in under 4 seconds.
- The "Robin:" Dressing a boy in spandex to aid an older man.
- The "AquaMan:" Talking a fish into having sex with you.

– Chris Richman

Logical Yogi Berra

"It ain't over 'till the sixth out of the ninth inning. Assuming each team hasn't scored an equal number of runs."

– Patrick Cassels

Skid marks are when you accidentally leave a trail of dried poop in your underwear, but what is it called when it's on purpose?

– Amir B.

Place Mats at the Antisemitic Diner

MATCHING QUIZ! Match the animal to the sound it makes.

1. Moo	A. Dog
2. Woof	B. Jew
3. $$$	C. Cow

– Jeff Rubin

Similarities Between Weed and Sex

- You don't want your parents to walk in on you – Smells weird – Leaves me with an overwhelming sense of relaxation – Is sticky – Makes me hungry – Costs $60

– Anna Fields

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