But just in case you do, make sure to avoid them like that hickey-spotted freshman with mono.

1)The green leaf: named so due to her conditional vegetarianism and inability to do anything but follow the crowd she is with at any given moment, this girl has a loud mouth and claims she could never eat anything with a face. Then you see her piss drunk at 2am, scarfing down a hot dog. Or eatnig the Dinty Moore beef stew hidden under her bed during finals. She wears peasant skirts and claims to be a perfect virgin, then you hear her blowing her boyfriend in the next room. This girl talks shit, gets caught, then has a bad lie at the ready. Was sheltered in high school. Publicly urinates at parties because of it.

2) The pseudo-hippie: This girl fancies herself a disciple of The Doors, but she really knows nothing in depth about 60s and 70s rock and skates byon thehits everyone knows, humming Stairway to Heaven the whole way. Wears patterned rags in puke colors and clutters her dorm with what could pass for genuine 70s trinket boxes for weed, except there's Marshalls price tags on the bottom. Mooches off anyone blinded by her art-major mystique like it's her job and wishes she was the groupie in Almost Famous. But she just sucks and smokes bad weed. And does shitty splotch-paintings.

3) The "I-have-a-boyfriend-back-home" psycho: This girl has a boyfriend back home. She will not let you forget it. Even if you're tipsy at a party, have no clue who she is, and just met her, you'll soonknow her bf's addressand the make and model of his car. The boyfriend cheats on herand in an uncanny phenomenon only rivaled by the stuff that makes Pop Rocks pop, she finds the guilty girl on myspace, facebook or both. Within 45 minutes. Going on a first name only. Claims it doesn't bother her, then smokes three to the face. By herself.

4) The "am-I-Bi?": The am-i-bi is ambiguously lesbian and drops hints about girls she thinks are hot. She tries to make out with you at a frat party, then you find her 69ing your guy friend. Decide that she might just be a slut.

5)The faceSpace freshman: This girl friends all the older guys. In june. June before the september of her freshman year. Has 500 of the same myspace bedroom pic of herself as her default. You just feel sorry and a little embarassed for her. But don't worry,she thinks she's awesome. She thinks facebook is myspace, and keeps trying to to turn facebook into myspace like a one-skank revolution. You can't wait to trip her at a house party. Because thanks to her profile albumyou know what she looks like in all lighting settings,making one stupid kissy face.