31 Things guys should know...according to some guy

by Donald Foster on November 26, 2007

I found this guy’s “Things guys should know about girls” on myspace…

This is supposedly advice from a very experienced guy…but come on how experienced could they be if they have a MYSPACE…So I have a rebutal to some of his “Advice”…my rebutals are right below his comments #1,2,3,…etc

1. Whatever you do, don’t just show up at their house…they run around in their underwear just like we do.

Wouldn’t a guy want to come over and catch his girlfriend running around in her underware? Is this guy swingin for the other team?

2. Don’t cheat on them. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be mud.

Unfortunately itis foolproof sometimes…but only if the girl is a fool… And plus most (not all) girls that I know are really catty towards other girls so if they are from two different groups they will never talk.

3. Beware of every single male relatives and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your butt at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn’t even wait for the damn hat.

Okay yes her male relatives will probably (try) kick your ass…maybe friends…but I think its the boyfriend that needs to look out for the shady male friends that are trying to get in.

4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they’re beautiful.

Ok so Im not heartless

5. Don’t refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it’s because they’re jealous.

Not completely true…guys sometimes actually laugh at their friends because they know that they are awipped bitch…

6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it.

Probably…or you were drunk and literally asked them to…just to see if it hurts…

7. Don’t be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they’re going out with you in the first place, it’s because THEY LIKE BEING IN YOUR ARMS.

Unless she happens to be pissed at you then if you try to touch her #6 will happen to you…

8. If you don’t sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did.

If you have roomates…you wont have to tell them that you did. The fact that she did a walk of shame in the morning down the hall will be proof enough.

—8.5. If you DO sleep with them, don’t tell your friends that you did.

See #8

9. You can be dirty minded in private, really…most of them are not offended by it…

Offended? My girlfriend and her friends are more foul than a drunken sailor on shoreleave…

10. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales.

But only a few girls can eat like whales and look like a bird…

11. Most of them don’t mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you’re a pussy.

I used to have the same perspective but what if the girl makes more than the guy? Are we just assuming that all girls make less than guys still? And if we assume this then we a basically saying women are less important than men… So women are worthless? Bold statement my friend…I think this guy works for the Tailban…

—11.5. Do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay all the time!

Yes I do need all of my money, for beer, beer, beer, weed, food…and internet

12. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts, and a really pretty ring. Even if it’s not a serious relationship.

WTF? A ring? Is this guy serious? Most girls I know would freak out if a guy gave her a ring and it wasnt serious…

13. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you’re dropping her off, WALK HER TO THE DOOR. If you aren’t dropping her off, call to be sure she’s home safely.

Agreed…then ask for a blowjob

14. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to kick the crap out of him.

Sometimes you have to make sure your girl was not the one starting the conversation/flirting…find out the facts before you decide to beat ass…

15. If you’re talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer.

Or you could find a girl without confidence issues…

26. Memorize their birthdays. You forget her birthday and you’re basically screwed for life.

Unless you make it up with something shiny

27. Don’t marinade the cologne.

I think he ment to say dont marinaTe in the cologne. The colognewould bethe marinaDe that you marinaTe in…

28. Don’t give her something stupid for her birthday or Christmas or Valentine’s day. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful. Jewelry is always nice.

What is the guy who wrote this made out of money? Yeah jewelry is nice but shoot… Three major holidays of jewelry? Im already broke as a fucking joke.

29. If you think the relationship isn’t going to last, don’t wait to find out. It will only hurt you more if you draw it out.

Unless you dont care about the girl you are dating…

30. After you’ve been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond.

Works both ways…

31.Don’t ever do anything wrong (well not anything). girls remember things for life and anything you did wrong will be used against you in the future.

True…just keep track of her mix-ups too…that way you can fight fire with fire!

I think I would like to label the guy who wrote this…Panzie
25. Girls are fragile. Even if you’re play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle.

Some girls are NOT gental…some girls will legitimately try to kick your ass.23. Don’t stress where you go for every date. THEY REALLY ONLY WANT TO BE WITH YOU.

Or let them decide what to do for the night…

24. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked.

Depends on what hurts and for what reason…#6 might happen to you if she hurts in the wrong area.17. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn’t care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went.

Yeah ok I suppose…you might get some nookie

18. You’re dead meat if you can’t get along with their pets, parents and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.

Yes unfortunately this is also true even if you hate one of their friends/pets/parents…

19. Don’t flirt with their moms or friends…that’s just freaky.

I dont know about freaky, but you will get your ass chewed out for it…I know

20. Don’t be freaked out by PMS. It’s not gross, and it really does make them feel like crap, so be understanding.

Yes it is gross…and just cuz you feel bad doesn’t give you the right to shit in my cherrios…

21. If you don’t like the way they drive, you do it.

Ok

22. If you’re officially dating, and you’re introducing her to your friends, you’d better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend.

Only if you dont want your night to be miserable16. Never, ever slap her, even if it’s just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, “Oh, you’re so dumb” or something, never make any gestures back.

If it is in a joking way what is the problem…plus playful hitting can be a great way to flirt…

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