Office "Small Talk" Dictionary

Good Morning!

Don’t fucking look at me!

How was your weekend?

I spent mine in therapy.

I got a family emergency.

My son came out of the closet.

What are you doing for lunch?

Why doesn’t anyone like me?

How’s the family?

My wife left me and took the kids.

I like that tie.

I’m sleeping with your wife.

Did you get my email?

I spent my lunch break downloading porn.

Did you watch the game last night?

I was in my High School Marching Band and still haven’t gotten over it.

My boyfriend sent me flowers!

My boyfriend hits me!

Arghhh, I’m swamped with work!

I’m insecure and crave attention!

What are you doing for the Holidays?

My family hates me and I have nowhere to go.

See you tommorrow!

I’m thinking about jumping in front on the train.

I’m so tired!

I haven’t had sex in months.

Somebody clogged the toilet.

I clogged the toilet again.