Harrison Greenbaum

Aladdin Questions the Genie's Wishing Rules

Genie: Rule number one: I can’t kill anybody. So don’t ask. Rule number two: I can’t make anybody fall in love. Rule number three! I can’t bring people back from the dead. Finally, no wishing for more wishes!
Aladdin: Okay, so I can’t wish for someone to love me, but I could wish for someone to have sex with me, right? I mean, I could wish for some girl to marry me and have sex with me whenever I want, as long as she doesn’t love me – true?
Genie: I mean, I guess… why don’t you just make your first wish?
Aladdin: And I know can’t kill anybody, but there’s nothing really preventing me from wishing someone into a permanent vegetative state, is there? I mean, they wouldn’t be dead, but what would really be the difference?
Genie: I think you really should be getting to your first wi—
Aladdin: One other thing…
Genie: Oh shit.
Aladdin: Well… about the “can’t wish for another to fall in love with you” thing. Can‘t I just wish for you to make a robot that looks, feels, and fucks exactly like that person? And since the robot wouldn’t be a someone but a something, couldn’t I just wish for it to fall in love with me?
Genie: You can’t… oh, wow… shit.
Aladdin: Not to be mean, Genie, but your rules kind of suck.
Genie: Fine, fine! So let me guess – your first wish is to void all the wishing rules., right? I’ve been waiting 2,000 years for someone to figure that out.
Aladdin: Yup, and then infinite wishes.
Genie: Granted and… granted…
Aladdin: And I wish for you to prevent me from ever making a bad wish.
Genie: Son of a —

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