Alternative Humor Explorations

ATTEMPT ONE:

Q: What did the frisky dog say to Mr. Bird?
A: Presumably some combination of growls and barks, to which the bird, who — by the way — is an animal and therefore unworthy of the title of Mister, would respond with a series of chirrups. As to the content of the conversation, this is negligible as the bird and the canine are of different species and the veracity of animal language is dubious at best anyhow.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Mary.
I don’t know anyone named Mary.
Oh, sorry. Wrong house.

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar, because by some bizarre coincidence these three happen to be friends despite their distinct cultural and spiritual disparities. They each drink a moderate amount of the house beer and remain amicable toward each other by politely abstaining from mentioning any provocative topics such as religion. They leave several hours later and return to their respective homes.

People who might find this funny: Perversely Boring People, Ultra Mega Irony Buffs

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ATTEMPT TWO:














People who might find this funny: Geologists, Other Rocks

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ATTEMPT THREE:

Q: What did one boob say to the other?
A: boing boing boing boing boing

Q: How do you stop a girl from pooping?
A: Put your penis inside her anus.

Penis: I am taller than you.
Clitoris: I am more sensitive.
Penis: I am becoming ever more taller than you.
Clitoris: Oh, well fuck me.

People who might find this funny: Thirteen-Year-Olds, Sex Addicts

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ATTEMPT FOUR:

People who might find this funny: Surrealists, People Who Enjoy The Word “Penis,”

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ATTEMPT FIVE:

“I’m a little devil!”










People who might find this funny: Recent Mothers, Satanists

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ATTEMPT SIX:

Mr. Jacobson goes to work all day and comes home and says his wife doesn’t do anything all day. I tell you, that man can understand 1040’s and W-2’s but there’s one thing he doesn’t understand: Chores.

Ted Jacobson never makes his bed. They ought to call him Unmade Bed Ted.

The African-American family next door just put up a basketball hoop. I have a joke, but you know what Auntie Ruth says about people who make those kinds of jokes…

Sandra Lee is a sloppy WASP cunt.

People who might find this funny: Mrs. Jacobson