Alternatives to the Current Patriots Pre-Game Show

I think everyone can agree that this has gotten absurd. I can’t remember the last time sports broadcasters knob slobbed this hard over any team. Even the Bulls of the 90’s didn’t receive this level of aural fellatio, yet every Sunday, Monday, and Thursday night that the NFL decides to broadcast one of these inevitable rape fests, I’m forced to listen to talking heads drone on and on. Here’s a few more productive things they could discuss on the pre-game show.

• In depth analysis of how each commentator plans to sexually satisfy Tom Brady after the game
• A nationwide poll of “How Hard Will They Fuck Them?”
• A nationwide poll of “How Tired Are You Of Us Talking About This Bullshit?”
• Editorial piece on God/Son of God Vs. Belichick/Brady
• Comprehensive list of cheap seats in Foxboro with maximum cover, “sniper quality” line of sight, and fast exit routes
• Shit no one wants to listen to with more comments from all those old Dolphins players!!!
  
• Op. Ed. piece with more comments from all those current Dolphin players!!!!