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Stuff You Don't Care About But Will Help You Get Laid

by Kate Spencer on

Hey guys! Hopefully you’re in a perpetual state of holiday bliss, either from the constant food or the booze. Or final exams! Perhaps a combo?
Regardless, here’s a little celeb trash talk to bring you all that holiday cheer you’ve been desperately craving.

Donald Trump is clearly missing Rosie O’Donnell these days, cuz he recently tipped some waiter $10,000 for a meal. Sounds like he’s hungry for…publicity. [DListed]

Britney Spears have given up on life so much that she’s hiring a body double to pose for her flabby ass in photo shoots. She should try hiring a babysitter to stand in for her as a mom too! [DListed]

Eva Mendes would rather go naked than wear fur. You’d rather her go naked for you. Perhaps you should try dressing up as a ferret. [IDLYITW]

Because most of you are dudes, here are some videos of the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. And because some of you are creepy, here’s the worst picture of Amy Winehouse ever! [Egotastic, CelebSlam]



Unlike Britney, at least Amy is trying – to kill herself with drugs.

Jessica Simpson is now trying to find some self-worth in the arms of Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo. We wish her all the luck in the world, as well as all the ice cream she’ll need to get over it when he dumps her to bone Cameron Diaz/Rachel Bilson/Lindsay Lohan. [IDLYITW]

Scarlett Johansjskdjkidjskeon is all pissed off at Us Weekly, after they hinted that she may have gotten a nose job. I’m all mad at ScarJo for being so rich and giving a shit about some dumb magazine. Also, it looks kinda sort different, right? Oh and, who gives a shit? [IDLYITW]



In the week’s least shocking news, Jodi Foster has finally come out of the closet. Yay for gay rights, snooze for gossip bloggers. [CelebSlam]

Porn star Mary Cary is auctioning off her breast implants to the least grossed out, highest donor! If you win, it will be the only thing of your’s that’s been inside of her. Wah wah. [HollywoodTuna]

How desperate is Lindsay Lohan for cash? This desperate:



Finally, for the ladies, enjoy Kiefer Sutherland’s naughty mug shot hotness. So what if he’d drive you around drunk? We like the reckless, selfish types. Hot! [WWTDD]



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You Don't Stutter

A number of years ago I thought it would be nice to take my martial arts class outside to the park to train. We had been there for a little over an hour when it began to get dark. It was then a Police cruiser drover over the curb and straight into the park, flashing his lights and turned on his roof spotlight; aiming it at us. I quickly, but calmly walked over to the cruiser... Read More » to ask what the issue was. The officer in the drivers seat started asking me questions about what we were doing in the park and I responded with the truth. Sadly I have a stutter, though not too bad it is noticeable. The officer then started badgering me, asking why I was so nervous, what am I hiding, etc.. I then became insulted and told him I stuttered to which he replied "Suuuuuure you do buddy" and started exiting his vehicle with his nightstick in hand. He then stopped, got back in the car and told me I was lucky and drove off. I thought he must have thought better of arresting me without cause and smiled. I turned around to resume class and all 32 of my students were less than 10 feet behind me, standing cross armed and looking very annoyed at the car driving away. Guess he figured it wasn't worth it.

Chris Lachapelle |

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