Here are the two easiest last-minute, finals-week routes to her heart: the standard come-to-my-tiny-dorm-room-to-sit-on-my-tiny-bed- and-“study” route, or the somewhat ballsier let’s-not-waste-our-youth-studying-instead-let’s-go- participate-in-a-whimsically-zany-activity route.
If you can’t figure out which course to take, I’ll give you a hint: dumb girls and really smart girls will most likely be in the mood for whimsy because they’re either too stupid to study or smart enough not to need to. The girls in the intellectual middle-ground will prefer to hook-up with you while pretending to study because they are just, like, really f*cked for that Psych exam and they’re smart enough to worry, but dumb enough to need to worry.
While these paths may seem wildly different, they boil down to the same situation: after you’ve been studious or spontaneous, respectively, with a little witty banter, and a few sheepish grins thrown in for good measure, you get to a place where your girl is starting to like you, but is also feeling increasingly guilty about not really studying. Now is your time to shine.
This is going to sound cheesy as sh*t, but just go with it: when she gets all panicky and starts talking about how she should be studying and she’s really screwed etc., you’ve got to put on the sweetest (but not creepy) grin you can muster and say, “What do you mean?” (insert sort of roguish laugh) “We are studying.” Now just begin reeling off facts. Start relevant“Circadian rhythms describe the patterns of physiological changes that accompany cycles of sleep and wakefulness” and then get increasingly silly and random “Cary Grant’s real name was Archibald Leach.” If you’re working your charm faculties correctly, that girl will chuck all thoughts of studying out the proverbial window and be in full lean-in-and-kiss-me mode. Victory!
And your mother was worried you were going to fail this semester…psh.