Finals Week At the Library

I am gonna kick some academic butt tonight. I am so ready to— Wow, there are a lot of people here. I don’t think I graduated with this many people. I didn’t even know that many people go to this school. Did they let townies in or what? Alright, chill. No one is watching you poke around looking for a seat. Scratch that, everyone is watching. I’m just walking, jerks!

Twenty Minutes Later
Finally. A seat without a jacket on it… and that whore from my English class is moving in! Woman, don’t make me punch you. Yeah, that’s right, walk away in shame. I earned this seat. Its next to an outlet and everything. People have died for seats next to outlets.
Oh, don’t freaking cry. That’s such a girl thing to do. Look I’ll buy you a brownie before our final or something.

…Okay, time for work. I’ll just power up the computer… log on… pull up Solitaire—
Whoa, dude, are you scowling at me? What do you care if I’m not doing work? You gotta get warmed up, or you’ll get cramps. Yeah, brain cramps. Yes, they’re real. F*ck off.
Come on, its not like I’m the only guy here not doing wo— okay, wow, I’m the only guy not doing work. Fine. I’ll start reading my text book.

Dude, do you see that girl? No, not Boobs McGee, that girl right there, she’s got like fifty books on her desk. I didn’t read that many books in all my classes put together. Well, maybe with CliffsNotes. ‘Cause I’m cool like that, that’s why. No, it isn’t cheating. Do I even know you? Get back to work.

Thank God for Wikipedia. I probably won’t even have to look at my notes toni—

Oh God. That’s a porn site. PANIC! Why won’t the exit button work? Alt F4! Alt F4! Agh! Just shut the lid, shut the lid!!!

Okay. Don’t look up. Not yet. Take one real fast look around and see if anyone saw that. Pretend you’re stretching your neck or something.

…Yep. Everyone saw it. You know what? I think I can study at home tonight. The library is too crowded anyway, I don’t know how anyone gets any work done.