Tonight’s episode of Dexter had a striking resemblance to all of my experiences at Taco Bell: it was delicious, it gave me huge cravings for actual steak, and then ended with me getting really bad diarrhea.
It’s just that nothing really happened during this episode, is all. The episode picked up right where we left off last week and the only thing that really changed in the plot was that Lila found the cabin and things are starting to be wrapped up into a nice, neat Hefty garbage bag full of severed body parts.
It is discovered that Lila is in the country illegally. Well, maybe it’s okay to accuse innocent, fedora wearing cops for rape where she’s from but we don’t let that slide in the good old US of A! Poor Angel. Oh, well; you know the old saying about rape charges! “Dance like there’s no one watching; fornicate like your partner isn’t going to later sedate herself and frame you for sexual assault…”
Meanwhile, Dexter is acting emo again by giving all of his possessions away and saying his goodbyes. He was being the classic model of someone getting ready to commit suicide, which is basically the same as turning yourself in as a serial killer.
As soon as he gets a chance, Doakes breaks on through to the other side of the cage and runs through the Everglades in search of help. That’ll teach Dexter to put him in a cage that’s apparently made of chicken wire and dental floss. Much like the whole Chino situation earlier this season, I feel the writers missed out on a golden opportunity with the crocodile scene. Raise your hand if you did NOT want to see Doakes wrestle a fucking croc.
Yeah. Thought so.
Doakes has some pretty shitty luck because right as he thinks he's found some nice south Florida civilians to help him to safety, he gets knocked out and dragged right back to the cabin. I really thought this scene was a bit stereotypical because I know plenty of drug dealers who aren’t Mexican. Why couldn’t they be of a more respectable profession (like white drug dealers)?
After killing the bad men with guns and thus saving Doakes’ life, Dexter puts him back in the cage. He then has a nice little talk with Jimmy D. about how he might turn himself in to the FBI. While it’s always nice to see Dexter open up to his victims, the notion of Dex turning himself in wasn’t too convincing since we know this isn’t the end of the series. However, the scene where he imagines Deb’s different reactions to him being the BHB is possibly the best fantasy sequence yet. The funny part is that not all of her reactions would be that surprising.
Lil' Debbie had a very nice role as the protective sister in this episode as she stuck up for her brother and co-worker by trying to run Lila out of town. No matter how sweet her intentions were, I just don’t see INS deciding to storm in and break down the door of a well-mannered topless lady instead of, you know, minorities THAT ARE TAKING ALL THE JOBS OF HARD WORKING AMERICANS EVERYWHERE.
Sorry, I forgot to mention that I type each one of these articles at my local VFW post.
After talking to his sister, Dexter decides he is not going to turn himself in and is going to continue his framing of Doakes as planned. Yay! What we already knew would happen turned out to happen! Also, I’ve never wanted steak more than I do now. I’m not joking.
It’s amazing that this week’s Morning After could be summed up with one sentence. “Lila found the cabin, while authorities are zoning in as well.” You sucker, you read all of this for nothing!
It's okay, next week should make up for tonight. Previews showed an explosion, which you assume will be created by Lila. Either that or Lila decides to go back to her home planet, Crazybitchtron, and something goes wrong during the launch.
Either way, someone's going to die. Who will it be? Tune in next week.
Or find the leaked episode online and watch it right now, I don’t care. As long as you don’t post spoilers in this week’s comments, we’ll be good.
Or, I don’t know, at least wait a week until I finish finals and get a chance to watch it first. Thanks.