Unconventional Uses for a Beer Bong

My first semester of college has been quite an experience, although I can’t say it’s been completely fulfilling. I noticed one essential item that has been absent between the shower sandals and my undisturbed pack of condoms… (Hey there’s always next semester) …A beer bong! Now I want to make sure it’s a good investment so I’ve been thinking of some other uses for it other than the traditional use. (To get past Natty Light’s horrible taste and straight to it’s effects) Here are some of those ideas to ensure my purchase is worthwhile.

• Cereal-accelerator: Late for school but hungry? Throw some milk and Corn Pops in that bad boy and gulp it down in a matter of seconds. Oh and I would stay away from Frosted Flakes using this method.
  
  
• Make-shift trumpet: Salute all the wounded soldiers after a party with your own rendition of Taps before sending them off to duty to kill your hangover.
  
  
• K-Y Jelly dispenser: Perfect for bedside or the computer desk, and when you’re finished you can simply slop the leftovers back into the funnel to make sure no drop goes to waste.
  
  
• Goldfish waterslide: No dog to do cool tricks? No problem. Rig up the bong with a water hose to let little Nemo get some excitement into his life and maybe even some death-defying stunt jumps.
  
  
• Jenkem huffing-mask: Pass that sh*t over here and let the good times roll.