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Jake Hurwitz

Top of The Morning

by Jake Hurwitz on


Good morning CollegeHumor! Streeter is sick today so I’m filling in. Writing the most anticipated article of the day. Really hope I don’t screw this up, man. God the responsibility is getting to me. This is real. This is so real. Better just get into it. First, TMA Kid Nation.


Also, Chris Richman is hitting us HARD with TMA Pushing Daisies.

And word to the wise, don’t leave the site today. We’re putting out the latest Street Fighter and it’s probably a thousand times better than anything ever. Even porn.

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Jake Hurwitz

Jake Hurwitz

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Orange Squares

Two years ago I get assigned a roommate from Bangladesh. Its his first time ever out of his country. His first words to me were Hello how tastes it. Interesting start right. Two days later i walk in to see cheese slices all over the walls. The cheese slices have writing on them. I confront him about it and he tells me he thought they were post it notes. Apparently they do... Read More » not have dairy in back home because he had never seen cheese before. Days after that he blows up the microwave by putting a pot of eggs in it. It is at this point that I give up on the guy. After a few weeks I notice his part of the dorm smells like ass so I confront him about it. He then goes on to explain that he has been waiting for the servants to come by for his laundry. Of all the people why did I get this guy? In the three months I lived with him he washed once and never quite understood that we did not have servants and that Americans utilize cows.