Charlie Brown tree: You see, I'm a lot artsier than you. I understand the subtle humor of this reference to popular culture. Yes, I did pay 30 dollars for this stupid novelty item, and no I don't think cutting down a free dead tree would have been a better idea.

Tree in your dorm: I will break, lose, puke on, trip over, fall into, eat for a small wager, or in some way demolish this tree before Christmas.

Tree with real candles: I would like my house to be engulfed in a fiery inferno in 2-3 seconds tops.

The tree your mom puts up at home: My mom loves me. She also loves that piece of construction paper with glitter on it that may or may not resemble a snowman, which I so kindly gifted her in the 2nd grade. And she says I never do anything for her.

I IZZ IN UR TREE: Hi, my name is Sandra Lutz. I teach 7th grade pre-calc and I just love Christmas sweaters with those little jingly bells sewn onto them. I have 13 cats, and I tell ya, every one of those little guys has the most unique personality.

Menorah: "Is this not the Horowitz party? I must be in the wrong room.."