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Fatawesome

The One-Step Roommate Test

by Fatawesome on

Whether you’ve been placed with someone in a new dorm or you’re giving craigslist a shot, living with a stranger can be difficult. Chances are- based upon that three-question campus housing survey, or the all-caps posting begging for NO GAYS PLEASE, you and your new roommate probably aren’t the best match. You might have a few days to back out before you’re stuck, so be sure to do the following immediately upon meeting your roommate:

Fart…and make sure it’s audible. If he/she…

a. Laughs
You’re lucky. Good roommates are hard to come by.

b. Awkwardly avoids it
Sharing tight living quarters will be ten times more awkward then those 30 seconds.

c. Glares in disgust
You’re not going through the discomfort of holding it in for an entire semester.

d. Farts in return
Pack your bags. That’s disgusting.

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You Stink

At about 10pm, my roommate and I were in our normal habit of watching Adult Swim and playing random video games when all of a sudden we get a knock at our door. I go to open it and suddenly 2 guys burst in, with ninja wraps on their head, spray a lot of febreeze all over our stuff and run out leaving a note that says "You stink!". I was hurt until 5 minutes later... Read More » when a very apologetic ninja showed up and said that they got the wrong room. I don't know what I was hurt more over. Being called smelly or not being invited for revenge on the smelly Asian smokers next door.