Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton), Terminator
Women with child often ask “what to expect when you’re expecting.” Sarah Connor, the expecting mother of a future robot-fighting revolutionary hero, can expect an indestructible time-traveling cyborg programmed to assassinate her. Also, morning sickness and mood swings.
Marge Gunderson (Frances McDormand), Fargo
With an adorable Midwestern accent and a 9-month bun in the oven, Brainerd, Minnesota police chief Gunderson forced the world’s Dirty Harry fans to re-evaluate their idea of what an ass-kicking detective could be. She’s also the coolest thing to come out of Minnesota since Soul Asylum.
Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver), Alien 3
Despite her decidedly un-sexy Sinead O’Connor haircut, Ellen Ripley becomes the unfortunate single mother of a man-eating extraterrestrial. Even worse, the father pays child support in collected human spinal cords.
Bethany Sloan (Linda Fiorentino), Dogma
The Virgin Mary would be an excellent addition to this record, if not for the fact that every biblical epic to feature her is 7 hours long and features a random white character actor as Jesus. Bethany, the unlikely crusader at the center of Kevin Smith’s religious comedy, becomes the next best thing when she becomes immaculately conceived, a miracle only slightly more credible than the performance of Ben Affleck as a tortured angel.
News Feed History of the World: February 2012
News Feed History of the World: March 2012
The Way We Do Things Sober vs Drunk
The Ten Internet Plagues
25 Things You Say During Sex, And What You Really Mean
I Think My Draw Something Partner Might Have Been Kidnapped
If you can't stand the fire alarm, get out of the kitchen. And go on the Internet.
From the director who brought you Wall-Alien.
Hey, you just got here, and this is crazy. But here's some covers, so watch them, maybe.
It's like seeing a whole bunch of twins where one of them is slightly less attractive.
It's like seeing a whole bunch of twins where one of them is slightly less attractive.
Remember when you thought Robot Unicorn Attack was the coolest game? You were an idiot.
Little known literature fact: Dr. Frankenstein was only trying to DRAW a monster that would terrorize villagers.
It's like people on the Internet have never seen a boob before. Come to think of it, many of them haven't.
"I guess these are cool. If you like that kind of thing. Whatever. " - Porsche owner, moments before bursting into tears.
Anyone who DOESN'T want to live in the Hobbit houses is crazier than Denethor.
