Dude, don't even bother, cause I got the star!

You might as well quit right now buddy, cause quess what? I got the illustrious gold star, yeah that’s right, call your mom and tell her that you are coming home early cause I am taking your ass out of commission for the rest of the night. But I am saving this son of a bitch for a specific time, that’s right, I want to see your ass sweat with anticipation as to when I am gonna use it, its gonna be like a stripper at a bachelor party, you don’t know when it’s gonna come but when it does, it’s gonna surprise you, but instead of giving you this righteous boner it will in fact make you wish you weren’t born a man.

You might be enjoying the scenery at Chocolate Mountain or Rainbow Road, not noticing that I am slowly creeping up on you like a cheetah does to a gazelle and then BOOM! Like the you being the accidental pregnancy that your mom doesn’t tell you about, I take your ass out with this five pointed luminous cluster of embarrassment and pathetic recognition, and if it makes you cry…..well, double bonus points for me.

Or you might be on Luigi’s Farm, enjoying your dominant place in first, thinking about going home and banging Princess Peach in your castle on Mushroom Mountain but instead I come out of nowhere and perform an “assholectomy” on you, with my bright shinning ball of light being my scalpel and you being the asshole that I remove, like a cancerous tumor in the realm of Mario Kart.

Oh! You got one of those red shells that takes out the person in front of you? Well once I put this bitch into action the roles will be reversed and you will rue the day, that’s right rue the day that you decided to piss me off on the racetrack.

What do you got now? Bananas? Oh please, banana’s are nature’s Corky from “Life Goes On” you might as well give up now friend, cause I will hold no mercy, like the Cobra Kai did with Daniel San in the “Karate Kid”…..no, more like Jean Claude Van Damm in “Bloodsport”

What do you got for me? Green turtle shells? I rawdog those fucking things and don’t have the decency to call them in the morning to check up on them and see how they are doing. After I use this star, you will wish you didn’t have friends so as to avoid this humiliation. This star is a symbol, a symbol for the ending of our relationship.

You better check the lost and found, cause you are about to loose you shit.