Brittney

Long, cylindrical things that no matter how you spin it, do not look sexy being fellated:

1.) Anteater’s snout
2.) Poop
3.) The North Pole (her lips would get stuck, and hypothermia isn’t sexy, unless you’re a necrophiliac)
4.) Doorknob*
5.) Dirty exhaust pipe
6.) Your dad’s shriveled old pecker


And that’s it. I spent a good two hours thinking about it and that’s all I came up with. Plus, all of those things could be sexy if you have some sort of weird fetish resulting from a lack of moral values/dad not loving you enough/constant heavy drug use, etc. This would have been much easier had it been reversed, and I had to think of things that do, in fact, look sexy when fellated. Popsicles, bananas, candy canes, carrots, vacuum cleaner handle, a penis, the list goes on and on.

*I know that a doorknob is not long or cylindrical, but was put in there for the mental picture of a vigorous doorknob sucking.

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A Christmas Larceny

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