How to Succeed on A Reality Show

Step One: Audition to be on someone else’s reality T.V. show, preferably a dating show.

Step Two: Drink as much as you can. Its paid for during the show and my parents always taught me to take advantage of anything free, especially booze.Also alcohol is a natural lubricant for social interaction, in simpler terms its “cool” juice.

Step Three: Get as much camera time on said show as you can ie. Flashing the cameras often if you are a girl, and fight someone if you are a guy. Also public urination will work for both sexes. If you have a problem peeing in public, you did not follow step two properly, see above.

Step Four: Cry a lot and gain sympathy from the viewers. They say nobody likes a crybaby, but that is a complete lie. Television viewers love to watch people publicly display their pathetic problems. If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend at home, cheat on them and cry about. Instant gold.

Step Five: If you are a guy spend a lot of time in front of the mirror or working out in the complementary gym that is provided for you. It is important that people know you care about your appearance. No one wants to watch a show with nerdy intellectual types, muscles and perfect skin are what it is all about. If you are a chick, just wear something that shows your boobs. That should be good enough

Step Six: Gain the trust of everyone other contestant on the show, and then quickly betray them. After all you are not there to make friends. You are there to succeed, and get really really drunk a lot.

If you have followed all of these steps you will be a reality TV success. Will people understand what was successful about it? Probably not, but those people aren’t as important as you, because you were on TV. Remember you aren’t getting paid so you can’t get fired. Go crazy and live like there is no tomorrow, because the odds are that when tomorrow comes and the show is over… well thats something to worry about another time.