Stuff You Don't Care About But Will Help You Get Laid

If you were rich and crazy and had been all over the world, where else is there left for you to go? The mental ward of Cedars-Sinai Hospital!

You know the story, right? Britney Spears freaked and holed herself up in the bathroom with her kid when K-Fed’s bodyguard came to pick them up at the end of her visit. She stayed there for hours until the cops knocked the door down and hauled her ass off to the hospital. [WWTDD]


Then she got out and ran away to Mexico with her paparazzi boyfriend, Adnan Ghalib. Nothing says romance like breaking out of the crazy ward. [IDLYITW]

But you know, before she ran off, she got a flat tire and kinda flashed her boobs to the world. And this is what her children can look back on when they wonder why they’re in therapy. [IDLYITW]

Nicole Kidman has confirmed that she is pregnant. Also confirmed: she is a robot. [IDLYITW]

Rumors are also flying that Pam Anderson might be preggers by her soon-to-be ex husband, Rick Salomon. Apparently celebrities only use birth control that works 20% of the time. [WWTDD]

Adrien Grenier should read this column, because he needs some major help getting laid. He tried this line on a chick in NYC recently: “So how about we go home and I fuck the shit out of you?”

It didn’t work. Surprised? [IDLYITW]

My favorite nobody, Heidi Montag from The Hills, posed for Max recently and talked shit about her ex-BFF Lauren Conrad. She is a bad person, but I am worse for caring. [Egotastic]

Then she went to Mexico with that skinny monster she dates and posed on the beach for photographers, showing off her family jewels, which are now 90% plastic. [HollywoodTuna]

Sober skank Lindsay Lohan is getting sued by the woman she chased off the road while driving around high on coke. Forget that movie career, NOW she’s going places! [DListed]

Guys! WTF! Look at Amy Winehouse! [CelebSlam]

And finally, Joaquin Phoenix is seriously retarded (look how he spelled his name!!). Er, that’s not a nice word to use. Let’s just say he’s really effing DRUNK. [DListed]

Celebrity rehabbed,
Kate