Types of College Relationships

Whether you want to admit it or not, the truth is that at some point in your college career you are going to wake up and realize that you have entered some sort of relationship arrangement. If you’re like most college kids, chances are your relationship will fit into one of these broadly generalized categories:

The Denial
Dating Stats: Hooking up since move-in day freshman year
How to tell if this is you: You go home with the same person every other night, but when your friends ask what’s up with you two, you’re “just effing.” “Just effing dating” is more like it!

The Dominant and Submissive
Dating Stats: Six months, but it feels like 6 million
How to tell if this is you: When your girlfriend tells you to jump, you build a trampoline…out of your own skin.

The Distant Lovers
Dating Stats: Decided to “give this a try” right before leaving for college
How to tell if this is you: You have a five-figure phone bill and swear you “love her to death,” despite the occasional beej from that girl in your Econ class-supply and da’ man!

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The Exhibitionists
Dating Stats: One month, but you’ve been having sex for almost a year now
How to tell if this is you: You’ve either (a) gotten a hand job in class or (b) been asked to?“please put your underwear back on” by someone in the library, over the loudspeaker

The Old Souls
Dating Stats: Been dating since the fifth-grade museum field trip when you sat in the backof the bus together
How to tell if this is you: If you are celebrating your ten-year anniversary in college

The Dreamer
Dating Stats: She met you on the Internet last week and it was love at first (web)site.
How to tell if this is you: If you doodle her screenname with your last name after it.

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