Hey, Facebook!

Stop sharing my personal information/purchases with people!

Just because I’ve listed every book I own under “favorite books” and my social security number under “Religious Views” does not mean that you can arbitrarily share what I purchase on amazon.com with anyone! That information is private!

Just because I tagged all of my previous sexual partners in a note titled “This is a list of my previous sexual partners,” does not mean that I want everyone to know the exact time I ordered “Rugrats: A Decade in Diapers” from an independent ebay seller. That’s personal too.

What if I decided to purchase a book on the History of the AIDS Epidemic? Huh? What then? People might think I have AIDS. I know what you’re thinking: most people have to have sex with another person to contract AIDS, but I’ve read there are other ways, too! Listing that purchase could easily lead others to judge me. Not everyone knows that I’m taking “Anthropology of Medicine for Non-majors” at Bowling Green next semester! Just because I listed my courses in my profile, does not mean I have friends who care. I know: they’ve told me as much. When you spend as much time as I do adding every facebook application from Scrabulous to Zombies, you don’t have a lot of time to “socialize.”

You better quit what you’re doing facebook, or you’ll be the next chump I bite.

Sincerely,
Angry McSadFace