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Kevin Corrigan

How Many Babies Can You Eat?

by Kevin Corrigan on


Just answer the questions below to see if you can swallow newborns like it’s your job, or if you get full after just a leg!

For starters, how many times a day do you go to the cafeteria?
0, I cook for myself or eat elsewhere (0 points)
1 (1 point)
2 (2 points)
3 or more (3 points)

How tall are you?
4’11” or less (0 points)
5’0” – 5’6” (1 point)
5’7” – 5’11” (2 points)
6’0” or more (3 points)

What’s your opinion on babies?
Adorable! I can’t wait to have kids (0 points)
They’re nice in small doses (1 point)
Indifferent, but I’d rather have a dog (2 points)
I hate babies. All they do is cry, and you can smell when someone has one (3 points)

If you accidentally run over an animal while driving, you:
Cry and cry (0 points)
Pretend it went under the car but missed the tires so you don’t get upset (1 point)
If it’s a big animal move it to the side of the road, otherwise just keep driving (2 points)
Add a tally mark to your dashboard next to all the others (3 points)

How do you feel about eating the flesh of another living being?
It’s completely wrong. I am vegetarian or Vegan (0 points)
I’ll eat fish and chicken but I stay away from red meat (1 point)
No big deal, I’ll eat just about anything (2 points)
The sexiest thing anyone could ever say to me is “I made you three veal steaks, each of them is wrapped in bacon” (3 points)

What about human flesh?
Never ever. I would starve before I ate a person (0 points)
Not unless I was on a deserted island with someone and we all agreed to eat the first person to die naturally (1 point)
If my soccer team’s plane ever goes down in the mountains I’d be the first to suggest it (2 points)
If it was legal I’d try it (3 points)

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Kevin Corrigan

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