After reading this column, you will be a Level 7 Scientologist and totally brainwashed. Sound good?
Great, then meet your leader, Jerry Maguire! A bunch of Tom Cruise videos created by the Church of Scientology have leaked on the web, and it confirms that sneaking suspicion you had that Tommy might be insane – and also the secret ruler of the earth. [IDLYITW]
Because Britney does 1048503021 insane things a week (like drive to her deposition and then not enter the court), here’s what she did yesterday. I’m sure by the time you read this she’ll have chartered a submarine to the core of the earth. Alas. [IDLYITW]
Brit forced the store Kitson to open at 2AM so she and her mooching friends/f*ck buddies could go shopping. She left in a men’s shirt, tie and not much else. Even she’s not attracted to herself. [WWTDD]
Let me get the sad stuff out of the way:
1. Actor Brad Renfro died. Possibly drugs. Definitely sad. [WWTDD]
2. Lily Allen recently suffered a miscarriage. Blergh, the poor thing. Can we even talk about anything funny after that? [DListed]
Ah yes, here we go! Britney Spears might have a multiple personality disorder! One personality is called “British Girl.” And the other is know as “batshit insane white trash nastiness.” [DListed]
The Adult Video News (AVN) Awards fucked the shit out of Las Vegas this weekend! [HollywoodTuna]
David Spade has probably impregnated a 22-year old Playboy model. Sorry, unborn baby. You are going to be short and annoying and not as funny as your future fat best friend friend. [CelebSlam]
Continuing on the Dudes Who Totally Should Not Be Dads tangent – Matthew McConaughey has knocked up his super-hot girlfriend. Clearly celebrities think they are above condoms. [CelebSlam]
Jessica Biel showed up back on the scene, and she’s definitely left sexy at home. [Egotastic]
And finally, Lindsay Lohan – though totally jacked up botox, red bulls and dick – kinda actually looks hot again. It’s gonna be a good year. [Egotastic]
Your Baby Daddy,
Kate
+
What Your Ski Tracks Say About You
Christmas Gift Org Charts, Through Life
What Everyone in Your Family is Bringing for Thanksgiving
The 10 Ornaments on Your Christmas Tree
How Creepy You Are, as Determined by Your Pets
Flowchart: Do You Like Me?
Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
